The Scribbles

So we didn't go to Dusun Bambu nor Tangkuban Perahu, but we went to this horse ranch called De Ranch (literally).

Taken before we left. Such a shame that Dara, Honamin, and the others couldn't go with us!

I was supposed to go with Nida, a friend who hosted a Waseda student, Risako, right away. But my professor asked me and a friend, Femi, to accompany her to bring another Waseda student, Sasuga, to another professor's house since he was going to stay there during the weekend. I've talked to Sasuga before during Ochakai (like a tea party) and he seemed pretty fun so we said yes, partly also because we couldn't say no to a professor XD
It was awkward at first. Seriously though, I've been in a car ride with a Japanese student before but we mostly talked in English. Since it's my second year, talking in English with a Japanese feels like sin so I tried my best to only speak in Japanese.

But we finally warmed up (Thanks, Risma Sensei!)

We watched Dara's Instagram live about beer and Sake and laughed a lot but idk I guess I was the only one who found it really funny...
We also taught Sasuga some Sundanese greetings which he wrote on his phone and followed each other on Instagram.
I forgot what else we talked about (ugh, thanks short-term memory) but it really was a fun ride.

We stopped by Prima Rasa to buy Isye Sensei (Sasuga's host) some cake. As we looked around, we recommended him some stuff for omiyage (what the hell is omiyage in English, sometimes I hate this about being a lame trilingual) but apparently, things were too expensive there:( Luckily, Risma sensei paid for everything! She also bought us some otak-otak and Sasuga seemed to like it a lot. But not as much as he liked Bolen lol.

K long story short we went to Isye Sensei's house and talked a bit, but since she was busy for the day, Sasuga could go with us for the rest of the day! Yay!

We went to De Ranch since our friends were there and it was a looong ride. It was jammed too! It was a little awkward since we didn't go with Risma Sensei, but we managed to talk a bit about stuff and watched Sasuga performed Yosakoi in Waseda last year.

We finally arrived in De Ranch! We traded our tickets for milk and met Joko (another Waseda student) and Ucup (we don't really have to talk about this guy). A while later, Nida, Risako and the others arrived too! But we parted and I went with Ucup, Joko, Femi, and Sasuga.

The guys wanted to ride a horse but Femi and I weren't really into it so we just watched them.

Here's Joko who's so proud to have the same name as our president.

But after that, we rode a Delman (a horse-drawn carriage)! I didn't take pictures of us together on that Delman.

I was sitting right behind the coachman.

I forgot what we did afterward? But I think we went to the cafeteria and it started to rain :(

Sasuga and I bought some bread while Femi had fried chicken (I think). Joko and Ucup had sate. And while Joko went to the restroom Ucup and the others stole some of his satay lol.

The rain finally stopped. Risako who I called Ricchan could finally ride the horse!

She's so cute!

Femi and I went to the restroom for a while and when we came back they were already in line to ride this!

Taken after they rode that blue boat thing.

It was time to go, but we sat for a while as we waited for the others to pray.

Taken on Sasuga's phone. Idk why it's in B&W

Then we went to Ucup's dad's house to drop Ucup and Joko off (lol) then we went to Ciwalk (a famous mall in Bandung) but we were stuck in traffic for hours!!! But before that, we waited in UPI for our Grab Car. (Too lazy to send the pic here but we looked like maigo)

Unfortunately, Sasuga wasn't feeling really well. (Get well soon, Sasuga!) I wish he could enjoy the trip as much as we did.

Then we went to Ciwalk to eat in BMK. Before I could finish my food, the Grab Car I ordered already came so Femi, Sasuga, and I had to hurry. Sasuga and Femi slept right away in the car while I was anxious about the traffic jam. It was already 9 while Femi and I had to catch the last bus to Nangor at 11!

But we arrived in Isye Sensei's place around half past nine so Femi and I managed to get the 10 o'clock bus, yay!

We arrived at around almost eleven so Femi decided to crash in my place and I think we slept like dead people. It was tiring but I had so much fun!!! I wish I could go on another trip with my friends like this again.

K admit it, my English in this post is terrible, isn't it? I felt it too. I always suck at multi-tasking, and since I listened and talked in Japanese all day yesterday, I somehow felt like I forgot English T_T This isn't meeee. I have an English Debate coming up on March 10th, I'm supposed to practice...

I'll just end this here...

Writing this with Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 5 in the background. Feeling really upset and just felt the urge to listen to this.
Things don’t work out most of the time. They just don’t. But it is much better to accept it as a part of life, enjoy it even. Really, life is no fun with only joy. It’s like summer all year long, which pretty much what we have here in Indonesia. It’s fun not to have to go through blizzards and constant low temperature, but you’ll eventually get bored at it. You’ll miss being annoyed by the snow blocking the road and you’ll miss scooping them away with your old shovel. And then you realize that the snow covering your garden looks so beautiful and you just want to lay down and make snow angels as delicate snowflakes fall gently from the sky, and then you forget your irritation and let the snow falls as it covers the road once more, but you don’t mind because it is just worth it. Now that isn’t so bad, is it?
Well, I’ll have to admit that it does suck when things don’t go out the way I expected, but I do feel grateful that some things led me to become a better person. I feel like I still have a lot to learn, and I’m nothing more than a flawed human being, but I’m proud of the things that I’d gone through, as it made me prepared to face whatever surprises life has in store, and it kept me away from unwarranted despair. Whatever happens, I’ll make it through. At least I believe in myself that much.
Okay so actually I’m kind of bored, hence the post. I can just spend the whole day watching movies or anime (I'm currently watching Kuroko no Basuke, I know I'm late), but I feel like I’m wasting my time. Well, except for the anime since it tests my listening skill if only I wasn’t lazy enough to not look at the subtitle all the time…
I decided to study French for fun, but it’s hard and I got kind of lazy. I thought it was harder than Japanese, but now that I think of it, Japanese was also hard to begin with. I just got used to it, so I thought it was easier. What really bothers me about French is the ‘R’ pronunciation. A friend of mine has that kind of ‘R’ and I thought she’d be perfect in French, but I think she’s not into it… I sometimes succeed with the ‘R’, though, but the problem is that I don’t always succeed. I’ll have to work on my pronunciation harder. I feel like I’m kind of good at imitating a certain pronunciation, but I’ll have to prove it to native speakers to be sure. Oh, that one time my Belgian friend who speaks Dutch taught me Dutch and she said I spoke like a Dutch!
Okay, where is this going? I’m not sure either. Sorry for the excessive amount of randomness in this post. Anyway, I’m trying to learn Grandfather’s Clock and Chopin’s Etude Op. 10 No. 3. I’m positive that I won’t be able to play the latter since I even struggle with the former. But it’s just for fun since I’m not sure how to play piano and I’m just really bored. People thought I could play just because they saw me playing Bach’s Menuett G Dur or Hadyn’s Little Serenade or the first minute of Liszt’s Liebestraume No. 3. Really, I have no idea what I’m doing myself either. I read those music scores my way and my fingering is a mess since no one ever taught me, but I’m happy, and I think that’s what matters. The problem with people thinking you could play is that they have a really high expectation on you, thinking you can play this or that piece and ask you to learn a song to accompany their bands. If only they knew…
Okay, I don’t know how many songs have passed since I always take a very long time just to write a short post like this one. Now Kreisler-Rachmaninoff’s Liebesleid is playing. This song really brings Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso feels all over again. Great anime, but it damaged my heart permanently. I like that they closed the anime with Chopin’s Ballade No. 1, but it was too heartbreaking I can’t even. Okay, this is getting too random. I’ll end this now.

Writing this while listening to Yamazaki playing Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 1 and Beethoven’s Piano Sonata No. 21 “Waldstein”

Anyway I’m not sure what I want to write since I don’t exactly have anything great in mind, but I think do have something that I’ve always wanted to say. I restarted my blog wanting to have an online diary because I think I actually want people to know what I’m feeling without me having to tell them myself. Writing a diary in a book just feels depressing to me, and I gain no relief from it. I was pretty sure that no one’s going to read it, though, so I prepped up this blog for my own satisfaction. I gave it a pretty theme, a playlist and everything, but deep down, I know that I want people to see it. I really didn’t expect an audience, though, except a friend of mine that knows about my blog. I don’t think my “best friends” even know that I blog. But people actually read it and commented, and I honestly felt kind of embarrassed now that I know people read those shameful posts I’d written.
Until this week, I thought about why I write. I mean, I know I wanted to be a writer, but why do I even write in the first place? I do have some things I’d like to share with other people, but I always find it hard to put them into words. I’m not exactly talented in anything particular, including writing, so why? Is it just because that I like it?
But I’d found the answer. I write to heal myself. I have all these problems and I used to spill them all to a certain individual but I sort of stopped because of…something complicated that only I can understand. And ever since, these untold difficulties have been slowly eating me from within and it’s ruining me. So I write. I write simply to help myself from falling apart. I write because no one else is capable of saving me from breaking. It doesn’t make me feel awfully better, but it does help a little.
I feel like I’ve been floating around aimlessly for as long as I can remember, nearly leaving sanity, but something always seemed to anchor me to the ground. It wasn’t heavy enough to keep me on the ground for long, but it was enough to keep me from straying. But honestly I could feel my anchor getting heavier and heavier. I think every now and then we need that kind of anchor, and most of the time that anchor comes in a form of a human being. Every time I see him, gosh, just the way he exists is already enough for me to be happy, even just for a bit. He keeps me anchored to reality and I owe him one for that. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to thank him properly, but I’m glad that I’d thanked him for what he did in a not very direct way. Yes, I like what he does for living. It’s magic. It’s a miracle. It’s remedy for a broken soul. I don’t know if he knows it, but heals me every now and then.
I ask myself sometimes, will it be different if it’s someone else? Isn’t what he does can easily be done by some other gifted individuals? Why did I stop myself in front of a particular house? There are plenty other bigger, more outstanding looking houses, but why did I stop in front of this one? Am I meant to heal myself in this house before I get back on my perilous journey? I don’t know. I really have no idea. God has mysterious ways in doing things and I probably will never be able to fully comprehend it.
Regardless, I’m happy that I chose this particular house. If I could explain it in words, I’d say that it’s a two story house in a quiet small town by the mountain. It looks grand on a glance, but if you look at it again, it actually looks quite modest. The rooms look like the ones in European houses in the 40’s and they’re surprisingly warm all year long. The house will be vacant every once in a while, but once there are people in there, it’s always so cheerful like Christmas for an extended period. There’s a five foot Steinway sitting in the living room, and it rarely stops making beautiful sounds.
I never want to leave this place.